Introduction: Lukas's story -- What happens to the survivor after someone commits suicide -- Emotional reactions to suicide -- A family's story -- The bargain : a deal we make with life -- Bargains : the long good-bye -- Bargains : scapegoating -- Bargains : "I am guilty; I am a victim." -- Bargains : cutting off -- Bargains : a miscellany -- The saddest bargain : "because you died, I'll die." -- The grand bargain : silence -- Reactions to an adolescent's suicide -- Responding -- Giving help by listening -- Getting help by talking -- Talking with children -- Living with suicide : some stories about responding -- Epilogue: Lukas's story : a personal summary.