Prologue: Numerology -- The forecast -- Husband material -- Messages from invisible sources -- Woman of a certain age -- Women never really faint -- The jet set -- Choose your own rom-com -- The grown-up -- Having it all -- The showdown -- On the road -- Be careful what you wish for -- The family you make -- The long goodbye begins -- Don't forsake those duties which keep you out of the nuthouse -- Men of a certain age -- What remains -- The other woman -- Women are well-acquainted with thirst -- We are not on the run -- The equality state -- "Balls," said the queen -- Epilogue: There are no happy endings, only good editing.